If You’re Bankrupt and You’re Happy Raise Your Hand

In Michigan, we have too many bankrupt ideas. As too many of us know, when you declare bankruptcy, your creditors divide up your property like Romans at the foot of the cross. And so it goes with this long crucifixion in Michigan. The more bankrupt ideas in our possession, the more property our creditors will get. Think of the real property that Chrysler and/or GM will lose. But also think of the loss of mental freedom as we become more and more dependent on outsiders for energy, funds and ideas.

Bankrupt ideas are harder to get rid of than sweaty armpits. Like stocks falling to zero, we don’t want to give up on them. I once sold a stock at seventeen cents. I don’t want to tell you what I lost, but that’s the point, isn’t it? A colossal failure to recognize reality.

And when it comes to deadbeat ideas that squat like flat tires on our culture, we have squadrons of leaders and their public relations shills driving us to pump up these lifeless ideas with our money.

Now you might think I’m going to complain about our taxes or about our ridiculous marijuana laws (is there any teenager left in Michigan who hasn’t been arrested for weed or tried it?) or the terrible conditions of our roads. No, I’m after bigger monsters, the ones we positively must kill if we want to rise again in Michigan.

1. Let’s stop thinking about expanding our vaunted health care system … it already consumes 17% of our gross national product and our leaders want us to pay more and more of our taxes to support it. Really? I and my insurance company have paid more than $80,000 in the last three years to treat my daughter’s psoriasis, and her condition has actually deteriorated since she got treatment (at my urging) from our health care system. You were right, Chelsea. You didn’t really need a doctor.
2. Let’s stop thinking about our project to grow our suburbs from lake to shining lake … our leaders tell us that we need more subdivisions, more convenient shopping, more Class A office space, more tax breaks for developers and more roads to make commuting faster. Really? If there is a commercial office building left in Farmington Hills that isn’t at least 20% empty, someone from the CIA, DIA, INS or IRS needs to investigate it for criminal activities. If there is a school district in Oakland County that isn’t laying off or thinking of laying off teachers, audit their financial statements quickly. And finally, if there is a union in Southeast Michigan that is willing to make the contract concessions necessary for its community to survive the oncoming budget bloodbath, please make your leadership known to this blogger for you are true American heroes.
3. Let’s stop thinking about our futile efforts to put back things the way they used to be … long ago our leaders and their non-profit networks turned this hopeless enterprise into a series of noble rescue operations that smack of emotional blackmail. There’s a radio commercial in which a Hollywood star pleads with his listeners to “save” the national parks. The last time I looked, the federal budget exceeded a trillion dollars. I already paid my taxes, Mr. Hollywood Star. If you want to save the National Parks, convince Obama and Congress to stop bailing out the banks. You party with them. I don’t.

I could go on with my list, but I think you get the point. Unfortunately, even if you do admit to carrying around a bankrupt idea or two, they are very difficult to discard. You sort of have to chop it out of your head. For example, in 2008 I believed that Peak Oil had doomed our civilization. The end of the world looked like a good bet when gas topped four dollars a gallon, but when gas plunged below two dollars at Christmas; I reran the spreadsheet in my head. Yet, falling gas prices didn’t blast out the idea entirely. Only when I read a blogger complaining of depression because he was sick of waiting for the final, bloody chapter of the Oil Age did I get rid of Peak Oil.

I’m sick of being checkmated by both kinds of bankrupt ideas: false hopes (the uptick is coming, it always does) and rosy tales of doom (Peak Oil will force us to trade in our nasty polluting cars for horses). Lately, I’ve found myself wanting the world to go on, wanting the economy to grow again, wanting to hear stories of start-ups and inventions, and wanting to see young people staying in Michigan because they believe in a profitable future. In my next post, I’ll offer a set of powerful ideas to put Michigan back in the black. Stay tuned.